Life Management: Family Management: Building Intimacy in Marriage: Lesson 1

You may like to read related literature on family management and management of married life on the following URLs:

(Family Management) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/

(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/

(Mission statement for Families) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/2011/03/mission-statement-for-families.html

(Life Management and Life Skills: Life Time Model) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/07/life-time-model-and-life-skills-life.html

(Do You Have the Right Kind of Skill Sets and Competencies to Run Your Marriage and Family Effectively?) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/03/do-you-have-right-kind-of-skill-sets.html

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)

(Note from the authors of the article: This post and the other posts related and linked to this post have become so popular with our readers that the authors have now written and published a book (in printed format as well as an eBook) based on these articles. The book is titled “The Romance of Intimacy”. Anyone desirous of building intimacy with his/her partner in marriage or in any other relationship will love to possess this book and make use of it. You can obtain this title “The Romance of Intimacy” as an eBook as well as a printed book (paperback) from Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007NGBBOI)

Need for Tutorials in Building Intimacy in Your Marriage

The fact of life is that you live with your parents and brothers and sisters for just about 15 to 20 years of your entire life. You live with your own children only for 15 to 20 years of your life. And you live with your spouse for around 60 years of your life if you got married at the age of 30 and you are going to live till your age of 90 years.

So isn’t it very obvious that you should invest more of your time and efforts in building up your married life? Don’t you think you need to do whatever it needs to keep up the relationship with your spouse and spruce it up further to new heights?

Over a period of time many of us get into a rut and forget what it needs to maintain and build up the relationship. So, here are some reminder lessons for you.

Here onwards  each post on “Family Management” section of the blog will narrate one important lesson. Implement this lesson and practice it again and again till it becomes your habit and happens to you naturally.

Here is your first tutorial. Do your homework now.

Give Positive Strokes to Your Spouse

It’s easy to criticize and so people do it often. The relationships start eroding if you keep finding faults in your spouse and pointing them out expressly or through your body language. It puts the other person off.

So, stop criticizing. You have not married the other person as his or her critic. You have married to enjoy the bliss of the married life. The bliss can never be complete without your life partner. You need to build up very strong relationship with her/him.

You might argue, “I do appreciate my spouse when I find or notice something really nice done by her/him but when she/he commits some mistakes I have to point them out.”

Dear friend, do you know that your one negative comment has already nullified your 5 to 7 or 10 positive comments? So, stop being a judge and stop exploring defects in your spouse.

First build up your bank balance of compliments and praises on your spouse to a count of few hundreds.

And remember it is not necessary for you to wait to praise or appreciate your spouse for her or him to achieve something big. You should praise her/him even without her or him having achieved anything. The praise or appreciation can as well be absolutely unconditional.

So, start praising your spouse now. Yes, do it now.

Tell you wife, “You are looking beautiful today.” “Your new flower arrangement is fantastic.” “But for you, our daughter could not have become so well mannered.” “You work very hard, I want you to go slow and relax more.” “You are so intelligent, it’s rare to find intelligent wives around.”

Tell your husband, “You are looking smart today.” “Your advise helped me in doing my assignment better in my office, thank you so much.” “I love when you hum my favorite tune while we go driving together.” “Today you shared so many of the household chores, it was really thoughtful of you.”

What did you lose in giving these compliments? Did it cost anything? Did you become smaller in stature? No, nothing. On the other hand you have added many points in your emotional bank balance towards your spouse. These points in turn will strengthen your relationship.

You should now set out a goal of finding something good in your spouse every day and give compliments. If you can find more qualities in your spouse or if you can find some more nice things done by her/him, find them out and then give more and more compliments.

Every person has considerably good numbers of strong points or qualities and so for the time being, ignoring her/his defects, shower your praises for those good qualities or strong points.

It requires both (husband and wife) to build up strong and intimate relationship in marriage; it cannot be a one sided affair to be done only by wife or only by husband. Therefore, both husband and wife should read this tutorial together and start practicing it simultaneously. Of course, it does not mean that if wife has yet not started giving praises or compliments, husband should wait and not start it too or vice-versa.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.

Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological

(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners)http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated)http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence)http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

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About Shyam Bhatawdekar

35 years’ industrial/business experience as a top executive & 35 years’ parallel academic/consultancy experience in general management, behavioral sciences & technology. Areas: general management, production, human resources, industrial engineering, systems, MIS, computers, corporate planning, audit, sales/marketing. Penchant for information technology & behavioral sciences; integrated with conventional technology makes him unique thought leader. Conversant with academic theories & realities of business, fuses the two into practical approaches. Was associated with Tata Motors, Hindustan Motors, Hindustan Aeronautics & ThyssenKrupp; held top positions as highflier executive. Presently Chairman & Managing Director, Prodcons Group associating with 250 organizations; providing management & I T consultations & conducting seminars/workshops. Been a faculty for IIM’s, TMTC, Railway & HAL Staff Colleges, Symbiosis. Speaker with 35000 hours’ experience benefitting more than 100,000 people. Published 35 articles in Economic Times, Indian Management & Computers Today. Authored 27 books. Invited as key speaker in seminars by AIMA, HRD Network, NIPM, QCFI, CSI, NPC. Widely traveled. Education: Engineering & Management.
This entry was posted in Boundaryless Management, Change Management, Communication, Creativity, Family Counseling, General Counseling, General Management, Global Management, Home Management, Human Resource Management, Leadership, Life Management, Life Skills, Parental Counseling, Personal Effectiveness, Personality Development, Principles of Management, Professional Counseling, Psychology and Psychotherapy, Soft Skills, Team Working, Transaction Analysis and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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